when i woke up this morning, it was raining hard! i begin to cry inside.. no tears came out from my eyes.. it was deep, i just can't cry on the outside anymore.. memories came crashing down like it was just yesterday.. it's like God brought me back to the past for some certain purpose.. for every drop of water i hear outside my window, for me it was like tears rapidly pouring out inside me.. what's holding me back somehow? is it love? do i still love him.. a question i can't answer confidently with a "yes" or a "no".. i don't find him deserving for the love and sacrifices but somehow, i do.. a friend told me that she is having a hard time because her boyfriend is here in the philippines and she's at ths states.. so far but yet they still manage to work things.. i told her, your luckier because you guys can work it out somehow not like us, so close.. yet so far! even friends, we cannot grant to ourselves.. is it ironic? yeah, life is ironic..